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I looked down at the thick, 2000 ++ page resume in front of me and sweatdropped. This could not be happening. Not right after the Lina Inverse interview.
Or then again it could, seeing how no matter how I scrunched my eyes, the man in front of my eyes refused to vanish.
“Excuse me, ma’am, but is there something wrong with your eyes?”
I sighed and shook my head. Better get this over as quickly as possible. I picked up the giant cockroach-killer and glanced at the name embossed on it.
“Which part did you want to try out for again, Professor Gabriev?”
“Please,” the blonde hunk sitting across from me flashed a quick smile. “Call me Gourry. And it’s the part of the swordsman, the sidekick I believe.”
“Erm…, yes, well,” I cleared my throat and looked down at the first page of the very intimidating pile of documents. “Let’s begin with your education. It mentions here that you have a medical degree, a Masters in the history of warfare, pre and post Kouma and a PhD in the Evolution of Magic. It’s… very impressive.”
“Thank you,” he nodded modestly. “I always enjoyed education.”
“That is very admirable, but I’m afraid that you don’t have quite the right qualifications to be a… an actor.”
“Actually, if you refer to pages 14-29, these encapsulate the highlights of my entire theatre career. While I was in the university, I wrote a few screenplays that I produced and directed. Perhaps you might have heard of them, ‘Jomeo and Rulient: the star-crossed Mazoku’ and ‘Ryozaku and Dogs, the musical’ among others.”
*sweatdrop* “Yes,” I tried again, “but I feel that producing and directing and writing are very different from acting.”
“True,” Gourry nodded solemnly. “I totally agree… which was I joined the Royal Peareshake’s Company. I starred in ‘Lamhet’ and ‘Pothello’ among others.”
“But don’t you think theatre is different from TV…?” My voice vibrated with a twinge of desperation.
“Yes, which was why I was pleased when I was picked to star in ‘Puffy, the Mazoku Slayer.’ The reviews have been relatively good so far. However, playing the part of Sulegan wasn’t very challenging. I wish to break out of my typecast as the dark brooding hero filled with angst which I believe your role might help me achieve.”
“That is… interesting, but to put it… bluntly, Gourry, I frankly don’t feel that you’re quite suited for the part.”
“Really? Why not?” He looked puzzled and I started racking my brain hard.
“Because… you might get hurt! The actor for this role will be required to do all his stunts and needs some basic foundation in sword play.”
“Oh then, I don’t see how that’s a problem!!” He looked delighted. “I was hoping for some exercise since I won’t be able to indulge in my 8 hour exercise routine every day once I take up this position. And I was so afraid that my sword work would become rusty.”
“Sword work?” I repeated weakly.
“Yes?” he smiled. “I think I mentioned it in pages 148-162. I was lucky enough to attain the badge of Amran.” I sweatdropped nervously. It was the highest grade in swordplay, and if Gourry was anything like Lina Inverse, I would have to take measures to ensure that I still had a studio to film in.
“Uhm, have you read the script Gourry?” I asked, trying a different tack, hoping to push him gently into the realisation that he was just too smart for the part.
“Yes I have.”
“Actually I have a copy here for you to flip thro… what did you say?”
“I said I have read the script.”
“You… you read the script?”
“Yes.”
“The whole script?”
“Yes.”
“For the first episode?”
“Actually, not really…”
“I see…”
“I finished those up to the next season.”
“…”
“Memorised the lines as well.”
“…!”
“Why? Is there something wrong?” The man looked genuinely puzzled and I started rethinking my idea that he was brilliant.
Beginning gently, I probed delicately at the actual issue which had been plaguing me since the beginning of the interview. “You memorised the lines?”
“Yes. I had a few minutes to spare in between lessons.”
“Oooo…kay… but don’t you think that you might be better off trying for another part?”
“Why?”
“Because…” I looked at his innocent blue eyes and blinked. “Because…”
I stopped, tried again.
“Because…” Oh to hell with being tactful.
“Because you’re just too damn smart for the part!”
“And that is bad because…?”
I goggled. “You read the lines, understood that the sidekick is, to put it mildly, a complete and utter moron and you *still* want the part?!”
“Yes. That is the matter in the nutshell.”
“But… why?”
“Because I refuse to be typecast. This blonde bimbo will be an excellent change.”
“But…”
“Enough buts.” Putting up his hand, he stood and started pacing around the room, his measured strides filling the room with his presence. “I believe that this will be helpful to both parties. I wish to break out of my stereotype as the brilliant genius or the tortured soul and you need a bumbling fool. As I see it, it works out.”
“How about the fact that our “bumbling fool” has an IQ of 200 over?” I asked acerbically.
He blinked. “Is that what you’re concerned with? But seriously,” he smiled charmingly, “Wouldn’t it be much better if you just hired me?”
“Well…”
“You are an equal opportunity employer right?”
“Yes but…”
“And I am qualified for this position yes?”
“True but…”
“And you can’t afford a trial I’m sure.”
“Yes but… trial??”
“Yes.” He smiled, his baby blues sparkling innocently. “I’m a lawyer.”
I gulped. “You’re hired.”
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