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Wanted: Tall blonde, busty, and beautiful woman to play the part of an intelligent and powerful sorceress. Salary is negotiable.
I looked down at the description of the heroine. Tall, blonde, busty, beautiful.
I looked up. Short, redhead, erm… not-busty and… if I wasn’t mistaken, her right hand was smoking a little.
“Do you know what happened to the other actresses … Miss Inverse?”
“No idea at all.” Replied the redhead airily and I sweatdropped as I watched the frantic action through the hole in my wall, courtesy of a large fireball which had come spinning through moments before with several tall, blonde, busty, beautiful sorceresses screaming about a short, red haired boy in the brunt of it.
Mental note: Do not comment about size. Or anything related to that issue for that matter..
“Yes, well, what exactly do you expect from this role, Miss Inverse?”
“500 gold up front with a 100 gold fee for every half hour of filming done. All expenses to be covered for, including those incurred on holiday. All clothes and styling to be sponsored by the company and 6 star treatment wherever I go and at least one wagon filled with food for my… special diet. These include dragon meat, tons of fish, chicken, salmon, clam chowder, lobster, fillet mignon, haagen dahz ice-cream, Belgium Waffles, Chocolate, Sweets and Candies…”
I started to space out.
“…and coffee.” She dimpled. “I need to keep my strength up.”
“Yes… well, Miss Inverse, that is very interesting but…”
“But?” Imagine a word that drops icicles, becomes a stalagmite, and is used to stab at all offending parties.
Now imagine something a hundred times worse than that.
You’re almost there.
“Well…” I pulled at my collar and struggled on. “You see Miss Inverse, this role doesn’t seem very suitable for you…”
“Darkness beyond twilight…”
“… what I mean is that your talents are too powerful for this puny show…”
“Crimson beyond blood that flows…”
“We have a very limited budget you see…”
“Buried in the flow of time…”
“… we can’t afford someone of your caliber and so…”
“I summon thee, pledge myself to thee…”
“… Congratulations?” I squeaked.
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