That you might know

A Trigun fanfic by Joppo & Yen. Part of the For the Children arc. Epilogue. Based on the anime story arc and not the manga.

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Dear friend, how many years has it been? Five? Ten?

7 years actually. 7 years, 4 months and 16 days. 7 years since the whole madness ended and water has returned back to this dry planet. 7 years since the fateful day when I got my brother back. 7 years since I lost my best friend.

It’s been a long time. Hasashaburi, Wolfwood. How have you been all this while?

This whole place has changed. Now that water and a steady source of electricity have come into this town, it is actually thriving and prospering quite well. Where what we once knew as a ghost town, there are houses, residences, playgrounds and a populace of something close to five thousand. Yet as much as things have become so different, some things still remain the same.

I still think about our last encounter.

Even though the blood stains on the floor have long been wiped away and the carpet refurbished, the man in the stained glass mural fallen by the wayside yet still bearing the cross speaks to me in ways perhaps only you can understand. You don’t know the regret I feel every time when I think about that day. There were so many other words I could have said other than those that I uttered that fateful day, so many things to clarify.

But no, instead of “I understand”, it was “How did you know about Knives?”

“How did you know?”

That one time I chose not to care, was the one time when I should have. The one time I should have listened, I chose to accuse. And that, more than anything else cuts me.

I shake my head sadly, but let it drop. No use talking about what may have been. What had passed had passed.

Do Millie and Meryl still drop by to see you?

Millie’s happily married to this doctor back in July Town. Married with five kids and the sixth is on his way. I dropped in on them twice over the last year and you’d be pleased to know that she’s still as childlike in her trust in people as ever. If there is one thing that she kept and retained over the years, it’s her belief in mankind.

But as carefree? No, after what happened that day, I don’t think so. I asked her ibe day whether she still goes by to see you but she stated gathering the dishes and talking about how dry the recent weather was. I did not push the issue further. We both don’t.

While Meryl and me never quite did get together, we are still friends and keep in touch. Knives has learnt to tolerate her presence and has actually started to talk to her on a more level basis, instead of the total contempt that was characteristic of him 7 years ago. I smile and cheer wildly, causing the two of them to roll their eyes at me simultaneously. If there’s anything that the two of them share, it has to be that. I’m still not too sure whether is that a good sign or not.

Much to her utter chagrin, her son has just proclaimed that he wants to be exactly like me. One day, he allegedly appeared in a red coat in his play pen, short hair slicked up with enough gel for ten people and introduced himself as Ash the Stampedo II. I think the boy will never see his allowance or the exterior of his house again until he’s twenty-five. And only if he’s lucky.

And the son’s name…? Nicholas. Yeah, Nicholas. We don’t talk about it, but we both understand.  Some things we just want to live on.

Even to this day, you still touch us in ways as if you were still with us. Some good, some bad. But mostly sad. There are moments in reflex when I order an extra drink, fully expecting someone to grab the bottle from behind and swig it down in less time it takes to grab the bottle back.  My hands tense and my ears twitch in expectation to hear the shuffle of footsteps, that voice, that greeting…

The silence I get in return is overwhelming.

I lift my cup and toast anyway. 

Sometimes Knives just gives me that look and asks why I don’t just go and make a plant of you since it’s all to easy to “bring you back”. There’s enough memory stored in the consciousness to effect that. I shake my head. Would that be fair to you? To become one like us? I shake my head. The threat of Gung-ho Guns has long since been blown away and only fragments of them remain in old wives’ tales meant to frighten children into obedience. I passed by the plateau where Legato pulled the final trigger, and I didn’t mean to but my feet traced those very steps back up to its summit to stand and mourn for a man lost. Meryl calls me crazy but you would have understood, wouldn’t you? For despite all his failings, he was but a man like the rest of us.

I don’t know what wind blew me towards Orleans that day but before I finally realized where I was, a jubilant voice rose and greeted me in ecstatic jubilee. Years had passed but the boy’s features had not changed much; merely sharpening them and defining them into something less than a boy and closer to a man. Chas.

They still think fondly of you, do you know that? Every day, they still offer prayers that He keep Nicholas Niichan safe and sound and that one day you would return back home. Your kids have grown up now, and have gotten a decent start in life as you had hoped they would have. Tom eventually did marry Betsy as you suspected and feared, and as mayor and mayor’s wife, the two are doing a pretty good job of running the town. Chas himself took over Martha’s role as caretaker of the orphanage. Thanks to them, there is no more Fringe folk nor Towners, It is simply New Orleans, a new beginning built from the sins of their forefathers. Interestingly enough, Davy the little crybaby became the biggest hero of them all. After being elected sheriff, he proceeded to organize the townsfolk into efficient bands of rangers that patrol the desert, ensuring safety and protection for all. For a split second, it was not the wind swept sun burnt blond features I beheld, but the familiar crooked grin and blue eyes that danced with mischief and pain.

My heart nearly stopped when they asked when you were coming back home. Seeing their respective hopeful faces, all I could do was to nod dumbly and agree to pass the word. It made me feel like a coward for letting them live in false hope.

For you aren’t coming back.

So here I stand, at your grave, telling you. Telling you things that you could only guess in your heart and dreams, but could never dare bring yourself to believe.

That you made a difference.

~~ Owari / end of For the Children ~~

comments? Please send them over, kudasai! ^_^

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